Coach Patchwork Assault

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Boy are we in a mood latley! But it’s not our fault; I swear we’re not crochety old ladies, in fact, most who know us think we’re really cute and spunky but you wouldn’t know it by reading this week’s “On the rag” posts. The fact is there are just so many crappy bags out there lately we can’t stand it! I know I sound like a total snob when I say that I CRINGE when I have to walk by a Coach store (I try to cross the street or the mall if I do see one coming up- I’m serious). The other day I was busy wiping my son’s face after an ice cream cone treat and I inadvertently stopped in front of a Coach store. I looked up and was assaulted by a wall to wall display of their hideous Patchwork bags! I almost passed out and wanted to run but could not tear my eyes away from these deformed looking bags! There was denim, leopard, Coach monogram, polka dots, zebra stripes, and a few unidentifiable patterns that I can only call “trash scrap” all on ONE bag!

patchhat.jpgI was completely over stimulated by so many ghastly prints that I almost had a meltdown. Then I noticed there were HATS to match these dreadful bags, who would wear this? Who would want look like they were in a paper shredder with Holly Hobbit and Joan Collins’ pillows? I know some of you will hate me for bashing your beloved Coach and call me a snooty snob but seriously, go see for yourself and tell me if you don’t get an eye cramp just from looking at these beastly bags. And by the way, the bags are way more hideous in person if you can believe it.

34 Comments

  1. June 29, 2007 / 6:38 am

    There are some bags that make you go “hmm, wow..”, and then there are these which make you go “wtf?!?!?!”. This line is one of them! Never liked coach and still don’t!

  2. Michelle
    June 29, 2007 / 8:01 am

    Dear Bag Snob,

    Thank you, thank you. There was a day long before Pheobe Philo that I actually thought Coach made very nice leather goods, however I can’t even image how they sell much less give these things away. And now if I am not mistaken they are in on the crazy price game and raising their prices on the same bags. (What is with the hideous stripes??) I think they need someone to sit down with the designer or get him a great pair of glasses. Thank you, I thought it was just me. And for the record I avoid the store just like you.

    a fellow bag snob….

  3. Michelle
    June 29, 2007 / 8:01 am

    Dear Bag Snob,

    Thank you, thank you. There was a day long before Pheobe Philo that I actually thought Coach made very nice leather goods, however I can’t even image how they sell much less give these things away. And now if I am not mistaken they are in on the crazy price game and raising their prices on the same bags. (What is with the hideous stripes??) I think they need someone to sit down with the designer or get him a great pair of glasses. Thank you, I thought it was just me. And for the record I avoid the store just like you.

    a fellow bag snob….

  4. Sara
    June 29, 2007 / 8:21 am

    Oh My, that is quite an assault on the eyes. I’d rather spend that $500 on a start up designer and a hip bag.

  5. June 29, 2007 / 9:34 am

    i think someone on the purse forum joked that no one over the age of 25 should be caught dead with a coach bag… so maybe these busy patchwork denim designs appeal to the high school/college crowd and older people just don’t get it.

    then again, when i look back at my high school/college photos, i’m mortified by all the fashion faux pas that i thought made me so cool…

  6. JR
    June 29, 2007 / 9:50 am

    While I do own a beautiful classy and basic Coach bag (a gift from my sweet boyfriend), I’ve always sworn that 99% of their products are ugly as sin. He knows much better than to get me anything resembling a monogram, much less stripes, polka dots and denim. Ugh.

  7. Anjli
    June 29, 2007 / 9:53 am

    brilliant post; I completely agree.

  8. vanessa
    June 29, 2007 / 10:11 am

    I too use to think they made very nice leather goods. In fact, I still use my first Coach from 10 years ago.

    What happened to their design team?? These bags are terrible!

  9. Francisca
    June 29, 2007 / 11:01 am

    Dear Bag Snob,

    you are funny. I really enjoy reading your review. Thank u : ) … oh, bout the bag … agree with you : D

  10. Emily
    June 29, 2007 / 11:49 am

    I’m a young teacher (with champagne taste), so I don’t make nearly enough money to be a snooty snob. But I have the same feelings as the bag snob about Coach! I would much rather save my money and shop the sales than buy a Coach monogram bag, even though it would be more in my price range. Also, so many of my high school students have Coach bags that it provides me another reason to stay away!

    I love the Bag Snobs because, even if I’m poor, you girls show me how I can still have good taste. 🙂

  11. Alex
    June 29, 2007 / 12:49 pm

    I have a love/hate relationship with Coach; their Ergo bag, and the legacy line in monochromatic, soft leather are both nice, simple bags that are good for a season and don’t break the bank, (the bag snobs may disagree with me there, but each to her own)

    BUT, that being said, Coach’s “not-so creative decision” to knock off that RE-DONK-U-LOUS Louis Vuitton Frankenstein bag is just a collossal example of bad taste. I don’t know what they were thinking, but it makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit each time I see some poor, unsuspecting individual wandering around blithly with one. UGH!

    The patchwork look needs to die, already?! What has it been, 2 or 3 seasons now that they keep trying to cram that visual abomination down our throats?

    It’s the public at large’s fault though; they love anything that “SCREAMS” designer – the Gucci logo canvas? The Louis Vuitton speedy in signature canvas? Coach’s optic signiture print? The patchwork bag is just an extension of this phenomenon. They wouldn’t keep making it if it wasn’t selling…It just proves to me that someone who can’t afford much, or can only afford one bag, feels compelled to tell the neighbours “Look…LOOK! It’s designer!! SEE?! LOOK AT MY BAG!!!”

    I don’t feel the need to advertise the brand; *I* know who makes the bag, and anyone who knows what they’re looking at knows who made the bag, as for the rest of the planet, oh well.

    But until the average consumer feels the same way about labels, we’ll continue to see company’s motivated by profit creating garish monstrosities.

  12. Anonymous
    June 29, 2007 / 1:32 pm

    I love Coach. Well, i love a lot of their leather bags. I dislike everything with the signature pattern and I Loathe all things patchwork. These hideous excuses for bags do make me want to hide in fright from my beloved store. I so wish they would stop carrying things like this and their disgusting “scribble” line.

    When i go into the store i usually have to shield my eyes from some horrendous bag or another. That being said, they do have some very beautiful bags. Even the leather versions of the bag you posted are quite lovely. I especially love the turquoise shade and the patent leathers for fall are beautiful.

    It’s crazy that they’re jacking up prices though. At that point i’ll have to rethink my little affair with coach.

  13. mette
    June 29, 2007 / 2:37 pm

    Where I come from-that is northern Europe, we thank god haven´t heard -me atleast-much about this Coach stuff before and I´m so happy that I don´t have to take part in debating. BTW the ones presented looked horrible.

  14. June 29, 2007 / 3:35 pm

    Oh, I can believe it.

  15. Anonymous
    June 29, 2007 / 7:20 pm

    Hahaha, oh my oh my, another disaster thanks to Coach! Really, not surprise here.

    I havent see this hideous set display in the window of the Vancouver shop YET but I believe I will soon…hahahaha!!!

  16. June 29, 2007 / 9:51 pm

    The sad thing is THEY SELL LIKE CRAZY! ; )

  17. Niki N
    June 30, 2007 / 12:30 am

    I was on the Neiman Marcus website and I somehow managed to find a bag that was even worse than the Coach Fug. The two fugliest bags I’ve ever seen, both in the same week, this is too much. Behold the Fendi Forever Sequined Borsa! http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod41350002&parentId=cat14170736&masterId=cat14170738&index=0&cmCat=search

    It looks like a Club Kid on ecstasy designed this one. My fellow snobs, what is fashion coming to?

  18. Irena
    June 30, 2007 / 1:06 pm

    I was at Nordstrom yesterday and I saw these bags in person. The Bagsnob is right in person its worse. You can see purple glittery flowers attached to it (almost 3D). Secondly, I am part of the college crowd and I would never buy patchwork (even if it said Chanel on it) or Coach.

  19. yoko
    June 30, 2007 / 2:03 pm

    wow, this bag isn’t even funny. I HATE COACH.

  20. June 30, 2007 / 9:58 pm

    I completely agree that these bags are a complete disaster–on so many levels. They are just…ugh.

  21. Crystal E.
    July 1, 2007 / 8:11 am

    Bag snobs around the world, it’s times like these that I remember and do a self-check. Masses of woman completely believe that Coach handbags are the pinnacle of luxury. However, my self-check came in the form of a wonderful middle aged woman who was uberly proud of her brand new Coach bag which happened to be the first expensive purse she’d ever purchased. I couldn’t bring myself to brag about my Muse, Spy, B, Paddington, Mini Lin, or Edith; all which were picked up that within that year. I thought, “I must be crazy,” most woman only have a Coach to brag about..self check. So, I completely let her brag, told her it was a cutie, and pledged not to buy another bag for at least six months. Well, that didn’t work but I’m definitely more empathetic to the masses. I even pushed myself into a Coach outlet the other day, new Chloe on arm. However, I also realized that it’s hard to appreciate Coach when you walk in with a Chloe.

  22. July 1, 2007 / 8:38 am

    I love Coach. I am over 25 and have several that I like…but they are the leather ones (and yes, my first was signature, but it was black and the C’s hardly show…since then I have moved to the leather ones).

    That said, I am really lusting for an Isabella Fiore now, and that will be my next big handbag purchase.

    I think the patchwork line is hideous and always have. I don’t get it at all!

    Here is a recent post with some nice Coach bags

  23. July 1, 2007 / 9:24 am

    These Coach patchworks are still easier on the eye than the LV one that came out a few months back. I thought that one blew more chunks than these. But that hat HAS to go!

  24. jane
    July 1, 2007 / 9:31 pm

    coach is awful, but an aspirational brand for the middle class nonetheless

  25. Kristy
    July 2, 2007 / 11:32 am

    I do like some Coach bags, but this style is definately not one of them. Unfortunately, the hip-hop mentality is taking over many fashion corners and that is leaving a stream of gaudy purses (amoung other things) in its wake. Just the other day I was wondering, “what the heck is with all the animal prints, fake bling, etc., on purses?” This bag is no exception.

    Anyone except a 5 year old child that incorporates a blue cheetah pattern in their designs is seriously disturbed.

  26. Christina
    July 2, 2007 / 11:56 pm

    Coach… just rolled over in its grave.

  27. Catherine
    August 16, 2007 / 5:41 pm

    I completely agree, their patchwork and signature bags drive me crazy.

    And I know I’m not a true bag snob but I live in the midwest, in my area the only designer bag that anyone would recognize is Coach. I subscribe to fashion magazines & drool over the high end bags. But I’m not kidding when I say that I mentioned Hermes the other day & the person I was talking to said “who?”.

  28. Mary Beth Wentworth
    December 26, 2007 / 9:32 pm

    I love the patch line. Oops. Sorry. :(. I just bought one in blue and get lots of compliments. It gets noticed.

  29. lauermar
    July 5, 2008 / 10:44 am

    I dislike Coach patchwork bags, and I prefer their plain leather bags. But I don’t melt down every time I see a Coach store, and I don’t cross the street to avoid it like a crowd of gang-bangers on a street corner. To those of you who are sick and intimidated, please see a psychiatrist. Take a pill and lie down. Their are far worse eyesores nowadays, especially muffin tops, tatts, multiple piercings, dirty straight hair, torn clothes and black nailpolish.

  30. Den Mac
    November 22, 2008 / 7:09 pm

    Please. Aren’t there more important things to be concerned about in these scary times.

    Who cares what purse someone is carrying? If it makes someone happy and they feel good because they love it, then what is the difference. Sad that so many people feel they need to judge ——-

  31. apple
    January 7, 2009 / 8:22 am

    well…I agree with den mac

    besides, i have a coach patchwork..and i guess it’s nice!

    if you have the money to spend and get yourself a bag which you like, why not>??????

  32. apple
    January 7, 2009 / 9:14 am

    well…I agree with den mac

    besides, i have a coach patchwork..and i guess it’s nice!

    if you have the money to spend and get yourself a bag which you like, why not>??????

  33. Previous Coach Customer
    October 24, 2010 / 4:25 pm

    What happened to Coach? If you check out the website, they sure think the executives are doing a great job because the revenue is increasing. However, only the insecure are buying bags with the initials on the outside. First problem was when they sent manufacturing to China. Then they dropped the legacy line of leather goods. Guess I have collector items now. Also, since everyone seems to have a canvas patterned C bag, I really don’t see the need to buy one of the new trash bags.

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