What happens to designers who don’t listen to the Bag Snob’s well given advice? Their assistants with big (but not always bright) ambitions take over and do whatever the hell they please. In a plea to the formerly fabulous Michael Kors, the Bag Snob has decided to send him this letter:
We warned you to pay attention to your design house instead of your television career and designer/socialite lifestyle but you didn’t listen. Look what’s happened to your bag collection since you’ve been gone! These are some of the most hideous bags we’ve seen all season! Why are you running around the country lunching with bored socialites who can’t possibly have anything interesting to say or to inspire you with (except me and my friends, when we had lunch last year I was certain you were inspired by us but you were too busy kissing the ass of a certain notorious socialite/shoplifter). You are such a bitchy betty on Project Runway but if you submitted your own bag collection for judgment you would be booted off faster than you can say Episode 1. I know you love Jessica Simpson so perhaps this camouflage bag was inspired by her USO tour in Iraq but it’s so ugly I doubt she would even carry it. And this suede patchwork mess, let me guess, left over scraps from your big suede hats a few seasons ago? You used to be so talented and driven Michael, but the fame has gotten to your head. What does your mother Joan think of this? Do we need to stage an intervention? Please, we beg you, start designing again and stop kissing socialite and B actress asses.
With love and former admiration, The Bag Snob