Dear Michael

michael kors camo bag.jpgmichael kors ugly ostrick.jpgkors suede patch.jpgkors palm bag.jpg

What happens to designers who don’t listen to the Bag Snob’s well given advice? Their assistants with big (but not always bright) ambitions take over and do whatever the hell they please. In a plea to the formerly fabulous Michael Kors, the Bag Snob has decided to send him this letter:

Dearest Michael,

We warned you to pay attention to your design house instead of your television career and designer/socialite lifestyle but you didn’t listen. Look what’s happened to your bag collection since you’ve been gone! These are some of the most hideous bags we’ve seen all season! Why are you running around the country lunching with bored socialites who can’t possibly have anything interesting to say or to inspire you with (except me and my friends, when we had lunch last year I was certain you were inspired by us but you were too busy kissing the ass of a certain notorious socialite/shoplifter). You are such a bitchy betty on Project Runway but if you submitted your own bag collection for judgment you would be booted off faster than you can say Episode 1. I know you love Jessica Simpson so perhaps this camouflage bag was inspired by her USO tour in Iraq but it’s so ugly I doubt she would even carry it. And this suede patchwork mess, let me guess, left over scraps from your big suede hats a few seasons ago? You used to be so talented and driven Michael, but the fame has gotten to your head. What does your mother Joan think of this? Do we need to stage an intervention? Please, we beg you, start designing again and stop kissing socialite and B actress asses.

With love and former admiration, The Bag Snob

8 Comments

  1. melanie
    May 19, 2006 / 3:30 am

    They remind me of Good Morning Vietnam when Robin Williams, talking about the Viet Cong wearing black pajama’s, “you can wear them to fight in, or just lounge around in”.. there is more and it is funny, but there is nothing funny about these bags, they say to me, you can carry me through the jungle, or just pretend you going to be near a jungle.. which is where I want to spend my leisure time…

  2. May 19, 2006 / 11:11 am

    Just hideous. Can we make the letter a petition?

  3. The Bag Snob
    May 19, 2006 / 12:34 pm

    What a great idea Camille! Let’s ask all of our blogger friends to post this letter on their blog! Circulate it around my fabulous friends! Love, The Bag Snob

  4. jodi
    May 20, 2006 / 7:12 am

    dear bag snob,

    i saw ashley olsen wearing an amazing all black, no frills, chanel bag on people website. its not “padded”, looks like a plain big hobo styled bag. i cant find it anywhere, even on chanel website-can u help?

  5. Stella Bennett
    May 20, 2006 / 9:38 am

    Stella hates these bags.

  6. Ira
    May 22, 2006 / 7:06 am

    The lower left one, I swear, was inspired by K-mart handbags! I saw original.:) As usually, original from K-mart has better look and fashionnable colours.

  7. Kelly McCall/Ray Souders
    May 25, 2006 / 6:32 pm

    Why does Mr Kors think it would be chic to run your life out of a bag that looks like shrubbery? Just curious. Hello Kelly

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